i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
