To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
