Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize