well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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