Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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