I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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