I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
