So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
