you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I puked a lego.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
is it fun? or sober?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
