I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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