Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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