The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
