love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
