I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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