Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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