if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
