when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
