I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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