please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
