Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
