I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
