Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
