the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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