Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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