a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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