THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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