he thought i was a dude.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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