do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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