we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
as a side note pls kill me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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