i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I intend to get homeless drunk
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
