sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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