I just saw a hot homeless man
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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