i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
