Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's blow job season.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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