I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
