He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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