wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
