I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
