They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
