he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize