u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
