I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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