hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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