What did we do last night that was yellow?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
