I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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