I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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