VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
