Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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