Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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