And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
