if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
