Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
