there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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