I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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