the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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